Are you Listening ???

I often find myself amidst conversations where I wonder, is the listener actually listening ! Blame it on the non stop nonsense that my talking is often referred to. But how does one actually find if we are sounding "boring" to the listener? Well based on my little research and experience, this is what I have observed.... Read on to find out more....

Repeated, perfunctory responses. A person who says, “Oh really? Oh really? That’s interesting. Oh really?” is probably not too engaged.

Simple questions. People that are bored ask simple questions. “When did you move?” “Where did you go?” People that are interested ask more complicated questions, which shows curiosity, not mere politeness.

Interruption. Although it sounds rude, interruption is actually a good sign. It means a person is bursting to say something, and that shows interest. Similarly …

Request for clarification. A person who is sincerely interested in what you’re saying will need you to elaborate or to explain. “What does that term mean?” “When exactly did that happen?” “Back up and tell me what happened first” are the kind of questions that show that someone is trying closely to follow what you’re saying.

Imbalance of talking time. I suspect that many people suppose that they usually do 80 percent of the talking in a conversation because people find them fascinating. Sometimes, it’s true; if a discussion involves a huge download of information desired by the listener, that’s a very satisfying kind of conversation. In general, though, people who are interested in a subject have things to say themselves; they want to add their own opinions, information, and experiences. If they aren’t doing that, they probably just want the conversation to end faster.

Body position. People with a good connection generally turn fully to face each other. A person who is partially turned away isn’t fully embracing the conversation.

Audience posture. Back in 1885, Sir Francis Galton wrote a paper called “The Measurement of Fidget.” He determined that people slouch and lean when bored, so a speaker can measure the boredom of an audience by seeing how far from vertically upright they are. In addition, attentive people fidget less; bored people fidget more. An audience that remains upright is still interested, while an audience that is horizontal and squirmy is bored.

I often remind myself of La Rochefoucauld’s observation, “We are always bored by those whom we bore.”

Well that is a cursory glance at identifying boredom... Hope it did not bore you guys as well.. hehe....


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